"...AND WE MAY ASK OURSELVES, HOW DID WE GET HERE ?..."
“So, whatcha gonna do ?”
Addiction, and recovery from addiction, have now been the central tenets of my existence for over 50 years, or half a century. As such, it ought not be a surprise that I tend to look at life as a manifestation of the recovery process. To that end, I must say that I have come to view the COVID-19 / Coronavirus situation as a global “bottom” in the process addiction that is being human.
For those of you unfamiliar with the addiction recovery process as defined by 12 Step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), or any of the now 40+ offshoot programs that have developed out of this approach, a central tenet of the process is that a “bottom” must be experienced. This “bottom” experience is the “jumping off point”, “last straw”, “pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization”, “dark night of the soul” that is required to finally “smash” any and all illusions that we addicts ruinously hold on to that our current way of doing life is manageable and / or survivable. Essentially, we arrive at the place of destitution and dissolution : we face ourselves at the point of life or death, literally…and we must choose. From that point of no illusion, if we choose life, we are finally forcibly enabled to surrender our deeply ingrained and habitually arrogant self-will and let go of our long-practiced delusional false hopes…which action then creates the space for grace (defined here as undeserved merit and/or a sense of fitness and propriety) to flow in.
This receipt of grace, often termed “a moment of clarity” is generally held as a powerful “spiritual awakening”, and often becomes the firmly grounding bedrock foundation of our recovery. As the unknowns of a new set of behaviors, and therefore a new set of life experiences, beset our tender early-recovering selves, the memory of this bottom and its corresponding grace is a barometer and guidance system to remind us from whence we came and to where we do not want to return, and thus impels and propels us forward into the unknown…believing that whatever this unknown will be…it must be, can be, and will be, better than the place we have been. And from that recollection and it’s impetus, we re-connect to our intention to change and re-commit to steady our hearts and our feet on this chosen path of recovery…for this breath, this moment, and this day.
The world-wide response to COVID-19 / Coronavirus has been marked by an unprecedented interruption and cessation of our previous patterned and conditioned behaviors. This “pause” has given us, individually and collectively, an opportunity to examine and understand for ourselves just what is happening now, and how we choose to respond to it. This continuum of understanding runs from somewhere like “it’s all a hoax” to “all PPE all the time”...and has probably 7.5B variants. Regardless of where we each arrive on that continuum, I suggest that our vital inquiry is “so, whatcha gonna do?”.
My take is that the Universe is a single living organism and each galaxy a single living organism within and each planet a single living organism within and each species a single living organism within and each being a single living organism within and each system (cardiovascular, endocrine, central nervous, gastrointestinal) a single living organism within and each organ a single living organism within and each cell a single living organism within and each atom a single living organism within….micro becoming macro and macro becoming micro…on and on…ad infinitum. And the whole entangled mess functions in much the same organic way, expanding and contracting around a (breath) cycle…creating and organizing and disintegrating…being born and living and dying…at whatever level of existence it is at. So, from an Universal perspective, a planetary life (say Earth), is pretty much invisible and insignificant, yet at a cellular level an individual human life (say You or I) is magnificent and stunningly complex. So, if everything that exists is an organism functioning within the context of this view, then our realization might be that there is “intelligence” or “divine order” or “natural law”, or, perhaps, “Creative Source / Higher Power / God” inherent and intrinsic and inculcated at all levels.
The Earth is a living, breathing, organism - a planetary scale collection of subsystems that interact and co-process and conflict and regulate to create and organize and disintegrate…just as an Human is a living, breathing, organism - a mammalian scale collection of subsystems that interact and co-process and conflict and regulate to create and organize and disintegrate. And just as the COVID-19 virus is attacking our human immune system and jeopardizing our human existence, humans are a virus attacking the Earth’s immune system and jeopardizing our planetary existence. And just as the human response to COVID-19 is to “stop, distance, clean” and thus flatten the curve and slow the spread in order to maintain some level of functionality, we are now able to clearly see that the Earth is responding similarly…healing as we humans “stop, distance, and thus allow the Earth to clean” thereby flattening the curve of systems and species destruction and slowing the spread of pollution.
This is the “bottom” we have an opportunity to feel into and understand, and to “smash” any and all illusions that we humans ruinously hold on to that our current way of life is manageable and / or survivable. From this point, where we can see clearly and honestly that we, as humans, face life or death, literally…and we must choose. And if we choose life, we are finally forcibly enabled to surrender our deeply ingrained and habitual arrogant self-will and let go of our long-practiced delusional false hopes…which action then creates the space for grace. To recognize that our human attempts to exercise control and dominion over the planet and the Universe are in fact self-inflicted wounds against our very existence. To acknowledge that the deadly game we are playing of defying God for our own aggrandizement cannot end in victory. To own the reality that we are a part of Nature and Nature is our reality, and that, as such, our attempts to subvert natural law are futile and suicidal.
And thus, we arrive at the point of surrender…willing to admit that we don’t know what to do, that we are afraid of what we don’t know, and that we are slightly open to doing something different…for to return to our ways and continue on this path is to die.
“So, whatcha gonna do ?”
“Questions of a thousand dreams…”...and for the next time. ‘Til then; stay safe. be well. seek peace. much love.